How many circles can I lead myself in today?

How many circles can I lead myself in today
Before I have heard any birdsong;
With lightening speed: straight back into the loop
Likely, where I left off yesterday – oh wait! A new conudrum;
Im pretty good at this, this nothing, shame. Wasted efforts
And its not like I don’t know it.

I don’t have to move a muscle for this; my head just whirrs away
Doing its thing. Me: motionless. Just let myself lie there and let it happen

Am I whirring about anything I can act upon? Of course not. That would be
Just normal; a balanced person; someone who has an identity, the sort you can
Rely upon. Not me, where is mine?

Who is this person staring back at me in the mirror? I ask myself this now;
I asked the boy of six, who stared back then: who is this unknown, ugly, unidentified
Figure standing there? That was twenty years ago, and I have no more answers to that
Now.