Unquiet Desperation
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Author Topic: the legitimacy of entangled hearts and webs  (Read 3974 times)
moneycash
Michel de Montaigne
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Rock the Biz


« on: January 23, 2008, 02:22:38 AM »

damn you all.  just damn you all and all of it damned. 

here.

* * *

it smells of lists and lists of girls you've kissed
cigarettes and taking shits
orgy dreams and popped seams, revolutions drink
through convulsing fits of sobs and bobs
and purple knobs, confessions tried and true;

i'm tired in a good way like a sunday where you woke up anyway, meandering
on a highway straight into the sun you've seen
burn into the moon and stars consumed
where many more have been will come;

i paint with smashed animals and pain, acid
desire flame, power coursing
through arteries/veins that bind a system
where everything looks the same
and you know that it is
just a bird thoughtfully resting on a long black wire.

- P.J. Smith, moneycash
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mark np
Sir Isaac Newton
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« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2008, 02:43:28 AM »

Interesting. 

Tell me, have you hurt yourself or anyone else of late?  Just curious...
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moneycash
Michel de Montaigne
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« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2008, 03:04:54 AM »

ouch,
that was my soul.
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keysersose
Ernest Hemingway
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« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2008, 02:58:28 PM »

Echoes of Leonard Cohen in the last line?

Stange, when reading this I liked each individual line, and I liked the movement in the words you chose -

- but -

- together it was hard to see what they added up to. Kind of like a jewelled mosaic that, viewed from a farther perspective, is abstract. Got a sense of ennui, but little sense of why this ennui exists.

Could you provide more clarity, or is the formlessness intended?

Whatever, enjoyed reading.

Keyser.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2008, 04:08:52 PM by Editor » Logged

Under neon loneliness, motorcycle emptiness.
The Bolshevik Dandy
Pablo Picasso
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« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2008, 03:03:03 PM »

i like this....the bitter fatalism is so entralling
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Come Slowly Eden.
moneycash
Michel de Montaigne
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« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2008, 04:02:45 PM »


Stange, when reading this I liked each individual line, and I liked the movement in the words you chose


truth is i wrote this line by line and almost ignored each line before the next.  i had a lot of ideas, but no direction, and i wrote it when i was bored!

very perceptive, carter...
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keysersose
Ernest Hemingway
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« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2008, 04:13:27 PM »


truth is i wrote this line by line and almost ignored each line before the next.  i had a lot of ideas, but no direction, and i wrote it when i was bored!

very perceptive, carter...

Thanks for the props, financial one, but I think you have me mistaken with someone else?

Not Carter, but Keyser. You're obviously not a criminal or you'd know not to make that mistake!

KEYSER.  Wink
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Under neon loneliness, motorcycle emptiness.
moneycash
Michel de Montaigne
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« Reply #7 on: January 24, 2008, 04:30:03 PM »

i must be trippin' balls.
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Mew
Michel de Montaigne
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« Reply #8 on: January 24, 2008, 09:12:20 PM »

This is just the type of writing that seriously thrills me.
It's a quick, sudden burst of color to me, like when you shut your eyes really hard
and open them up just as quickly.
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Mew (euthanasia)
nauseamfromrum
Cicero
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« Reply #9 on: January 25, 2008, 09:35:24 PM »

i like the contrast of the entire passionate poem against the closing line of a solitary bird who doesn't understand any of the emotion that has just been unleashed
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