Epitaph Reading

[Guest]

[pease-smith]

My names Liam Pease-Smith. I should've read more has a child, I should’ve made more films has a child, I should’ve watched more films has a child.

I then should’ve got A's in Film Studies, English Literature and Photography at Wakefield College, then I should've got top marks at Media Production at Selby College whilst getting on handsomely with the Selby people. All the time building up a roster of networking contacts and an ever blossoming reputation. Getting my short films talked about by Mark Kermode on The Culture Show, from there I would've gone from strength to strength, going onto study Media at Salford Uni, obviously excelling, then getting a scholarship to the Royal Academy of Film and Theatre, then I would've gone to the London Film Academy, my name being on the lips of all the right people. But I would leave them for sunnier shores...

The University Of California for Film, meeting Monique and having the most fruitful of relationships. After that I would’ve started my work in the professional arena. Directing some of the most breathtaking and well known advertising campaigns ever. But adverts wouldn't be the main fruits of my labour. The motion picture is where my true genius would've lain. Making films in Hollywood that were not only original and thought provoking but also consumed by the mass audience. That rarest of creatures. I would turn Richard Laymons book Bite, one of my favourite books into one of the classics and a pinnacle of civilisation. I would make films until the day I died. With no regrets. And the epitaph on my grave reading "Here lies the greatest film director nay human that has ever lived".

[sinister_miss_nancy]

Is this what you would like to have become/ still plan on doing?

[pease-smith]

Indeed so. And this is a comic reimaging of the real pain of narcissism thats been bubbling in me in recent weeks.

[Mr. Goldberg]

I think you're too young to be getting nostalgic just yet,  let alone writing epitaphs...you can still and will achieve all these things and more...reminds me of my earlier stuff - sorta self-imposed self disillusionment. Must run in the genes. "Don't shoot yourself in the foot before you've been over the top of a redcap" Old Uncle Barney used to say... shortly before his last charge into the barbed wire and stuttering machine guns. "Always stop for a rollie  before you meet the bunker... you're no man in no man's land unless you've lit a Woodbine."  And he was right. First casualty of sidestream smoking since 1918. Wouldn't wear his gas mask as it interfered with his smoking habit . " Mustard Gas or twenty Mayfair it's all the same to me," he'd wheeze. And with one last puff that was the end of him. Third light did for him. He ran out of matches.

As for poppies...always pick em off the street, keep 'em from last year and wear 'em again the next...save yerself a bidda money  (Smashey & Nicey Comic Relief Tips). 

[sinister_miss_nancy]

My take, and excuse me if im incorrect, is that its an epitaph to the laugh not lived yet rather than not lived. I liked how it sounds kind of vain but humouress all the same. Its so very precise its scary. Necessary sometimes though...

[Flying_whizzabe]

I wish I had read more as a child. I think we all do. Even though the amount of books we have read might go beyond average, there will always be more to read. I hope you do all these things.