Unquiet Desperation
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Author Topic: Skinny People  (Read 2766 times)
Eloise
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Virginia Woolf
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« on: October 19, 2013, 06:54:14 PM »

So recently I was having a discussion with a year 9 when it struck me; skinny people are possessed by demons.
Now bear with me on this, it does make sense.
The reason(s) skinny people don't gain any weight is a) they don't eat anything while the demon is inside them because the demon forgets humans need to eat, or b) the demon burns up so much energy keeping the human soul from resurfacing and casting them out it burns off any calories it does remember to ingest.
Now before Sam butts in with his comment about short people being possessed because they're closer to hell, that makes no sense as we know that hell is not actually located within the centre of the Earth but in a dimension beyond our own. If anything short people are closer to heaven because they're nearer God's Creation - aka the Earth.
So, there you have it. All skinny people are clearly evil.

...hold on. Most of you are skinny... have I joined a demon worshipping cult by accident?
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Nithin
Ernest Hemingway
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« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2014, 11:27:15 PM »

How did I miss this?!?
Well Eloise it's nice to know you think I'm evil Wink
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-Power is not alluring to pure minds
Thomas Jefferson

This proves I'm not pure Wink
Raven
Sir Isaac Newton
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« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2014, 12:17:03 PM »

"skinny" is just a word ... when I tend to get the skinny of things it means I figured some shit out ... but are you talking about physically? cuz I live in America surrounded by fat people and there are no skinny people except in movies
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Raven
Sir Isaac Newton
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« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2014, 12:28:32 PM »

I love talking about demons though ... while fat people are an easy target for sloth and gluttony ... if you like old school Christianity ... skinny people ... looking like they are of flat ... sign the apocalypse ... unless that is that they are evil themselves ... feigning some sort of illusion ... skinny yet they hide this big secret ... I fucking knew it! this big old large secret! so skinny and so large at the same time! 
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Swindle
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boo


« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2014, 09:24:16 AM »

First of all this is clearly the wrong way round, you are by far the evilest person i know (I'm sure you'll take that as a compliment) and second of all the larger body is a result of there being a demon inside them taking up extra space. so the larger you are the greater the demon living inside you Cheesy
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Eloise
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Virginia Woolf
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« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2014, 10:50:27 AM »

Oh, Sam, you poor, unwitting victim of the demon inside you, you are so wrong.
There's nothing to say that demons are 'big'. Actually, most representations of demons in modern media are smoky forms, at least while possessing people. Also, anything with the power to possess a body surely also has the capability to reduce its size? You really need to think these things through.
I will sum up with this final, slightly argument-undermining fact: you're a bloody idiot, go home.
PS yes, I do take that as a compliment, I've worked hard on becoming this evil while also holding onto my own personal morals and scruples without BEING POSSESSED BY DEMONS.
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